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Three Ways To Deal With A Defiant Teenager

Going through the different phases of life is challenging for children and parents. And especially if you have a kid who has just hit puberty, you will know what I am talking about. Defiant teens are not easy to deal with because they are going through a lot. The hormonal changes and emerging sexuality make them act out in an argumentative and rebellious manner. They start testing their parent's limits and start disobeying them. It is very crucial for parents to understand them and be respectful. Still, at the same time, they should make their kids realize that their 'normal' behavior is not acceptable.  

If you are currently dealing with a defiant teenager, here are three effective ways for teaching your kid some quality teenage discipline.

1.    Become their friends and problem-solvers

While dealing with defiant teenagers, the parent often forgets that puberty is probably the most stressful time in life. Teenagers feel alone and try to compensate for their frustration with aggressiveness and bad behavior. What you need to do is to reassure them that parents are not kids' enemies. In fact, they are their mentors, coach, guardians, problem solvers, and friends. Try to learn the art of agreeing to disagree. It will give your teen the feeling that parents are understanding, and who knows, the negative feelings might even change into respect and love for you.

2.    Avoid repetition and reward them for good behavior. 

Trust me when I tell you this, nagging your teen and reminding them again and again to do some specific task or that they will be grounded if they don't do the task assigned, do no good except for encouraging defiance. You want to bring your kid about some specific task, try giving directions only one time with a warning and then if It doesn't do any good, impose consequences. This way, it will be easy for you to achieve compliance with your defiant teen. In addition to this, do not instantly provide them with all the necessities. Make them understand that the necessities are privileges that they need to earn by showing teenage discipline and good behavior. If your teen acts up or starts calling you names, or becomes disrespectful, don't hesitate to take away the earned privileges. 

3.    Devise a plan

Dealing with defiant teenagers, you need to think about using your brain and not your heart. You have to keep emotions aside. If your teen acts angrily or use foul language, you should not do the same. Bringing out your emotional reactions will do no good to calm the conflict. So what to do instead? My advice is to deal with your teen's bad behavior by devising a strategy beforehand. It will be best to plan out what you have to say when your teen acts out again. You must deliver your message in clear, understandable, and simple words without being angry, upset, or frustrated. 

From the founder of

January 2021