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10 Ways to Enjoy Your Relationships
Human beings are social animals and we need to feel a sense of belonging that comes from meaningful relationships. Everyone needs someone who will support them throughout, whether it be your spouse, or family or friends. But most of us take these relationships for granted and eventually lose them. Love and warmth aren't the only things that relationships require.
Any relationship that is strong and unbreakable is because some people understand that relationships are a lot more than just rainbows and butterflies.
Here are ten tips that can help you maintain and enjoy the relationships around you.
1. Take care of your needs -
Everyone has personal needs and desires and there is no harm in doing what you need to do. Take some time off for yourself, whether it's taking some time out for working out, or some shopping to help you feel better.
Sometimes, compromising and sacrificing can take a lot out of you. So it is important that you take care of yourself before you commit to taking care of someone else. Be complete and whole for yourself, before you make others feel complete and whole.
2. Give people the benefit of the doubt -
Trust is a very crucial factor in maintaining a relationship. It is human to doubt people and always be on guard about not getting hurt. Don't get upset if people aren't able to give you the attention you desire, because they might be bogged down by their own set of issues. They might react in an unfavourable way because of the same reason and it might seem like they're intentionally trying to hurt you or make you feel bad.
In such situations, cut them some slack. Instead of reacting angrily or getting jealous, try seeing the good in them and support them as much as you can. Be patient. If they feel bad about it, they will eventually apologise.
3. Recognise your own issues -
People say that when you point a finger at someone, four other fingers are pointing right back at you. When you're not happy, it's easy to blame others for your unhappiness. The truth is, something might be bothering you, and you haven't even realised what's wrong.
Look for a solution in them, not problems. Address the root cause, take responsibility for the problem, And find a solution. Sometimes, you might be the bad influence on your relationship.
4. Be mindful -
In any relationship, be mindful of the way you project yourself in front of others. In psychology, projecting refers to denying your own traits as a defence mechanism to keep you from acknowledging your weaknesses and the discomfort that comes with it. Being mindful boils down to self-awareness which takes a lot of effort.
Accepting your flaws is the first step in having a successful relationship, but if you don't, you'll continue projecting your flaws onto others instead of working on them yourself. There will always be negativity around you if you don't identify the problem quickly.
5. Be careful of choosing your battles -
Arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. Anything can trigger people into arguing. A tiny comment or a rude insult can have devastating effects on a relationship. On the other hand, some people just like to fight to feel important and establish their dominance or channel their energies in a certain direction, without realising it. So, it is important to choose your battles.Know which arguments that are worth fighting and which aren't. The only way to address this issue is to ask yourself these questions :
Does this happen often and do I feel like this often?
Does this leave me feeling bad often?
Does this matter in the long run?
Is it possible to empathise with the feelings of my significant other instead of concentrating solely on myself?
6. Compassion can go a long way -
People's natural instinct in reaction to someone attacking them is to defend themselves. This gets you nowhere in an argument,but simply adds to the noise. Nothing is ever completely black or completely white, and it is likely that you both might have strong points to make, but your ego and stubbornness can make things very difficult.
Approaching someone with compassion can take the edge off the person, and he might be in a better position to talk rather than scream their lungs out. This will give you both a chance to clearly confess and communicate.
7. Vulnerability is not weakness -
You can feel vulnerable in any kind of relationship. When you open up about your past or when you admit a mistake, you become vulnerable. People don't admit all of this because it gives them a sense of power, but a sense of authenticity. And vulnerability allows that. If you are being your true self in any relationship, without the fear of judgement, that's true love for any relationship.
8. Don't let emotions get the better of you -
Do you always feel like you need to do something about your anger the minute you get angry?For instance, if your friend tells you that she's not going to be able to go out with you, and you had planned a lot for that day,would you call her and yell at her?, Would you bitch about her to other people right after that? You wouldn't, right? Initial emotional reactions do not always reflect how we actually feel about something.
Once you've calmed down, you'll know you overreacted. When you feel a very strong emotion, just sit and be alone for a while. When you learn to observe your feelings, rather than acting on them you can minimize two things in the processOne, the negativity, and the guilt after overreacting.
9. Maintain boundaries
In relationships, the line between us and boundaries can get a little blurred sometimes. Don't let the other person manipulate you into doing things you wouldn't want to. Stop acting out of guilt and start paying attention to your needs. If someone offends you and you're hurt, let them know how you felt.
This only means that you will have to love and respect yourself enough to know where people cross the line with you. The only way you can maintain any kind of relationship is by being brutally honest about what you need. And speak up against what you don’t like.
10. Enjoy each other's company more than each other's approval -
The constant need for validation from other people around you is something that says a lot about how you look at yourself. It comes across as being under-confident. You can't always have people around you, stroking your ego. You'll have to learn how to turn negative feelings about yourself into positive ones and how to cheer yourself up when you're feeling low.
If you see yourself becoming emotionally dependent on someone, and always wanting their approval way too much, stop right there. Introspect a little, and focus on all the things you can enjoy with the person rather than just dwelling on their validation. Let go of all the emotional burden you've been carrying around and just enjoy yourself. Whether its your friends or family, make sure you put your best self forward and enjoy every minute you spend with them.
One Last tip for Successful Relationships:
Enjoying relationships is not something that requires insights or listicles such as this. It just needs an ounce of self-love, and love for others.Things will just fall into place. In the end, be positive and contribute (not compromise) to the relationship equally and just have fun!
From the founder of Bitesizedessentials.com