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Being the best version of yourself...
(to attract the attention of others)
This is a process that isn’t the easiest for some because it can require faking it, some bravado, and acting entirely out of character at times.
The confidence and 'Best Version Of Yourself To Effortlessly Attract' the attention of others.
This is unfortunate, as it hints strongly at a deeper issue of self-confidence and self-worth. How can you act the prize when inside you feel nothing remotely like it? The logical benefits aside, our own limiting beliefs can sometimes be the bane of our very existence. And of course, if we are limited by our own beliefs and don’t have true confidence in ourselves, how can we expect others to hold us in high regard?
There are no jerks of either type without confidence – though it should be noted that the True Jerk works with insecure confidence, while the Jerk Complex works with true confidence.
Let’s begin with some of my favorite quotes on confidence.
Sex appeal is fifty percent of what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got. – Sophia Loren
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. – Mark Twain
Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours. – Richard Bach
Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered – just
like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better. – Barrie Davenport
The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences
behind you. – William Jennings Bryan
Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confidence, and more and more
successful. – Mark Victor Hansen
A few patterns emerge from the above quotes.
1. Confidence is a change that stems from both outward and inward appearances. It can begin with either one, and frankly I don’t think I would prefer one over the other. If you start with external changes… you will look good which will make you feel good. That mood and confidence will eventually permeate through the rest of your life. After all, if you can revamp your physical appearance to be objectively attractive, there’s no telling what you can’t do!
2. A large component of confidence is the stock we put into how other people perceive us. This may not be ideal, but it’s where it starts. Thus, we can take a lesson from this in observing other
people’s actions and assigning confidence values to them. Be extremely analytical and apply those changes and suggestions to yourself.
3. On some level, any confidence you show will be irrational. It’s just the nature of the beast. Even Michael Jordan, who has all the reason in the world to be confident, can sometimes be overly so and irrational. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a wealth of things to offer. You also do. Don’t let the fear of appearing arrogant or immodest turn you off of projecting confidence, because it will happen. Get over that mental hurdle, and move on.
4. Once you believe you don’t have confidence, you won’t. Confidence starts with a belief in yourself, no matter how small. Pick one thing that you’re great at – possibly the best at in the world. Take pride in it, and realize you are also allowed to have those feelings of pride in things that you aren’t the best at. Maybe you aren’t even good at them.
5. Failure breeds confidence. Why? Because when you have failed, you know how badly things can go… and yet the world didn’t end. Failures eventually turn into successes, which also breeds confidence. It’s the process that is important.
6. Conditions will never be ideal for you to build confidence. It all has to start somehow and somewhere. But it’s within you.
7. Everyone has insecurities. But true confidence is security in who you are. Your insecurities are likely insignificant to many other people’s… and it is rare that they would never come up because everyone is so focused and self-conscious about their own. Your insecurities also add to your character because they haven’t killed you yet. In that way, they actually signal that you are strong and still here.
Confidence can take you to your highest heights if you allow it, and it’s something that you cannot compromise about yourself. Here are some actionable traits of a confident Jerk Complex to get you started on your journey.
1. Lead others and don’t be a follower
2. Don’t care if others don’t follow
3. Don’t seek approval or affirmation from others
4. Don’t be a people pleaser
5. Invest in and value yourself
6. Accept and let in the fear – it’s natural
True confidence is so because of its disregard not for others, but for what others think. It’s a powerful trait
that is magnetic, attractive, and increasingly rare.
Written by Abraham A.L on 9th March 2016
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